I have this secret wish of being able to become somebody else, live somewhere else, in another time … just for a short time.
I wish I could be able to be whoever I wanted to be; change looks, personalities and living conditions and go back in time as I choose – just as one changes clothes. Still with ‘me’ intact, but where I’m able to shuffle ‘unrecognized’ or ‘masked’ through time and lives, pretending to be various made-up people. How fun it could be!
I guess that’s what acting is all about and what draws people into acting in the first place. And it certainly could be fun to be on a film set, set in the 1920s or ’30s perhaps, with grand set design and glorious costumes and everything else that belong to a period piece. But acting is not for me. I’m no great actor; too conscious about the camera, myself and everything else, and too clumsy and stilted when it comes to reading my lines. I am no good at pretending on behalf of everyone else, just myself.
And if having stacks of money should count for anything (besides giving it all to one’s beloved and to charity), in my secret wish it should be used to buy a huge mansion where I could decorate every room after my every fancy and whim. I would also have a massive wardrobe with various pieces of clothes from all ages so that I could dress up and have Gatsby-like theme parties. Ah yes, go all eccentric and mysterious Count(ess) of Monte Cristo – that would be one of the personalities I would like to try!
But since I am neither an actor nor a rich woman, at least I have the world of books, fiction and imagination – to quote the late Umberto Eco:
“I have lived the lives of Napoleon, Caesar, d’Artagnan. So I always encourage young people to read books, because it’s an ideal way to develop a great memory and a ravenous multiple personality. And then at the end of your life you have lived countless lives, which is a fabulous privilege.”