It’s not easy to go with your gut.
At least, I tell myself I’ve gone with it so far and stubbornly continue to do so.
However, I use it as an excuse in too many situations where I should make a hard decision and compromise, but instead just say that ‘it doesn’t feel right’ and that ‘I choose to go with what my gut tells me’. That ‘it has worked so far’.
On the one hand, one should celebrate such an idealistic, almost romantic notion of ‘following your gut’. On the other hand, it’s quite naive, really. Because life is about making hard choices; you cannot avoid or outrun them.
Though, you could argue – as I did in the beginning here – that going with your gut is a hard choice. Simply because – in a society where everything, including choices, has become too caught up in ‘the risk of it’ – few dare to do so or stand by it.
Or again, it may just be a part of the excuse of not making the other hard choices.
Ugh, I honestly don’t know anymore. Going with your gut certainly isn’t practical or well thought-through. It just … happens. It’s instinct and intuition all wrapped up in one. It’s a survival technique of sorts, I guess. A force to be reckoned with, just like my imagination. And reason so often struggles to intervene. What one should or should not do gets all mixed up in this; an exhausting, 24/7 internal battle of what is the best way to go about it, so, in the end, you just give up and decide to go with the flow – thus go with whatever instinctive feeling that flows through your gut. It makes life less structured, less predictable, and from the looks of it rather privileged and almost hedonistic. But can I really brutally force my reason through and repel what is my instinct – simply in order to have a more planned-out, outwardly pleasing life?
No, I don’t want to. I feel like I must do what I feel is right and yet, I’m perpetually conflicted about it.
It is not easy to stand alone in this, but, in the end, I don’t think I can ever turn off my gut feeling.